Of Ice and a Woman: Giving Up My Best Friend For Sobriety

“What is that?”, I ask her.

“It’s ice,” she responds.

Like a reflex, I ask. “Can I try some?”


All She Wants To Do Is RELAPSE

Some days, like this one, all I want to do is relapse. You read that right, I WANT to relapse. If you’re fresh in your recovery, you may want to skip over this particular blog post. If you’ve been in recovery for some time, maybe you can comment with some advice for me right now….

The Opposite of Addiction is Connection

My dad thought I was going through what all young people go through. He had done his experimenting and figured I was just doing mine a little later in life than he did since I had kids so young. He never developed any kind of addiction, so why would I?

The Annual Metamorphosis

It’s something about the Spring, I think. Lucifer only beats me when it’s beautiful outside…

Sad Girls Smoke A Lot 

“Things were perfect now, aside from the fact that I was a functioning drug addict…”

Not An Addict Like Him

Addicts are a closed group. To an addict, no clean person understands what they are going through. And really, they’re right. Except the ones who have been there. So you would think, once you have been included in the closed group of addiction, the membership would be life long. No one could ever tell you,…

Abusive, Addicted, Beautiful Lucifer

“How often are you doing coke?” “Not often. Only like, once or twice a week.” So casual. Nonchalant. I act like it doesn’t phase me. Inside, half of me wants to shake him and scream “What Are You Doing!?!” And half of me wants to ask if he wants to do some with me right…

How To Quit Meth Cold Turkey Without Professional Help

“….But HOW did you do it?” I only talked to a doctor about quitting meth one time. It was about a month into my sobriety and around a week after my kids were taken. My mom thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown and paid for me to go see her doctor. The…

15 Things To Do Instead of Your Drugs

Today, let’s not focus on the sweet deception of perfection that is doing meth. Let us instead focus on not doing it since that is ultimately the goal here, right? 15 Things To Do Instead of Crystal Meth (or whatever your drug of choice is) Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. This list is very…

April 7, 2014

Today is a day like any other. But for me, it’s not. Two years ago today I decided to stop using meth. I had made this decision many times before, of course, but never had made it longer than 12 days clean. Now I’m at 731 days clean (including leap day). It’s funny how sometimes…