All She Wants To Do Is RELAPSE

Some days, like this one, all I want to do is relapse. You read that right, I WANT to relapse. If you’re fresh in your recovery, you may want to skip over this particular blog post. If you’ve been in recovery for some time, maybe you can comment with some advice for me right now….

The Annual Metamorphosis

It’s something about the Spring, I think. Lucifer only beats me when it’s beautiful outside…

Not An Addict Like Him

Addicts are a closed group. To an addict, no clean person understands what they are going through. And really, they’re right. Except the ones who have been there. So you would think, once you have been included in the closed group of addiction, the membership would be life long. No one could ever tell you,…

Abusive, Addicted, Beautiful Lucifer

“How often are you doing coke?” “Not often. Only like, once or twice a week.” So casual. Nonchalant. I act like it doesn’t phase me. Inside, half of me wants to shake him and scream “What Are You Doing!?!” And half of me wants to ask if he wants to do some with me right…

Long Sleeves in 90 Degrees

I probably would have let him beat me forever, I loved him that much. It got to a point where I thought I craved the violence, but really what I craved was the affection and adoration he would pour upon me after he had beaten me into immobile submission. The feeling that something was wrong…